When not found for the Lord and a couple of figs
While God shakes us by the scruff, demanding fruit, we are alive. As soon as He lets go of his hand and agrees: live barren, death is inevitable.
I came to bring fire to the earth, and as I wish it would already be kindled!
I must be baptized by baptism; and how I languish until this is done! (Luke 12: 49-50)
These words were spoken by Jesus a long time ago, long before the events of today, but Great Monday is the day of such a storm of souls that they sound as if all the time, all this day, in every word, in every act of Christ.
What inner pain is every His every move, every word. What an internal indignation, unwillingness to die. Both Divine and His human nature resists and does not want.
What were these nights to you, Lord, when you left Jerusalem at dusk and went to the Mount of Olives? How many were Gethsemane nights?
Christ is not heroic; death is unwanted and painful for Him. He goes to death, not raising his head proudly. He does not prove anything to anyone.
Death is unnatural for us as well – its attributes distort us, the appearance of a coffin, a dead body is unpleasant for us, and ghost stories scare us. But our nature is involved in death due to sin. Christ, however, was completely innocent of her; how much more clearly and clearly did her ugliness see the One Sinless. And every day, every hour, death was getting closer and closer.
Oh, how hard it must have been to Christ on Monday night spent in Bethany. This is a tiny settlement, and Jesus must have slept in the house of friends at the happy Martha, Mary, Lazarus. Where and where, and in that house that night they were definitely happy from the heart, for sure a whole bunch of people crowded there, they came in, went out, looked at the risen Lazarus, pricked their tongues, raised their hands, exclaimed, stared at Rabbi. Laughter, talk, congratulations, music, noise, noise, noise …
He probably wanted silence, peace, rest before the torment, maybe prayer – but He went to the house of friends to spend the last hours with them, not to deprive them of their joy to be with Him.
Probably, the sisters prepared the refreshments that they could, offered both to Him and to the disciples – but could He eat? Was He able to eat in the house of friends in the morning? Probably not. From Bethany to Jerusalem, it’s not far, but when he went out into the City in the morning (on foot, on foot, yesterday’s tsar’s entrance was almost forgotten), Jesus went hungry on the way. And it was a little necessary to conquer hunger – a pair of figs would be enough, but they were not found in the lushly green fig tree.
“And when he saw one fig tree on the way, he went up to her and, finding nothing on it, except for some leaves, he said to her: May there be no fruit from you from now on. And the fig tree withered immediately. ”
By the way, why is it withered? After all, Jesus did not say to her: die. He said: let there be no fruit forever. It could well continue to turn green barren, why not, please.
Perhaps the future surprise of Peter is connected with this – look, the fig tree that you cursed has withered. You think that he did not see miracles? Lazarus had just been resurrected before his eyes, it will be worse. He probably would not have been amazed if Jesus had said: dry up – and that would dry up. But here is different.
Perhaps this is the only time we are shown to the end what happens when the Lord agrees with our desire to infertile. And then on the example of a tree: Christ cherishes every human soul too much to demonstrate something on living people.
While the Lord shakes us by the scruff, demanding fruit, we are alive. As soon as He lets go of his hand and agrees: live barren, death is inevitable.
Jesus had already forgotten about the famine: ahead of Jerusalem, desecrated by the merchants of the Temple, the last words to people, and all this – in the same heat of a languishing soul. And how distinctly His loneliness is, what a difference is between Him, with mortal torment in the heart, with unspoken, almost-uttered words on his lips – and His apostles who do not know, do not understand.
Laughing, I guess. They argue. Seats in the coming Kingdom are divided. Quarreling without a word. Everything as usual. Everything as usual.
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