What is happening to me now?
I'm going home in a minibus after a work day. I want to relax, stop thinking about business, the best thing is to take a nap. But nothing happens: the music "does not go," scraps of thoughts, memories, and impressions of the day swarm in my head: "how is it possible, eh?" “Now I will come in the middle of laying, the children will once again be amused, you will not put it …”. Trying to pray – thoughts go on the 3rd sentence.
I know what helps in such situations, but something inside of me resists to start working. Finally, having overcome this resistance, I begin to write: “Guilt, fear, anxiety. Anger on A. for writing. Scary for the event, do not want to try. I worry about N.'s health, I can’t help with anything … ”
I use one page, start the next one. Slowly, those thoughts, impressions, images that seem to be tossed between the brain and the ribs are reduced, dissolve. It feels like a tightly wrapped tangle inside gradually exfoliates, is divided into separate ribbons, each flies to the designated place and lies on the shelf.
The head clears up, the tension in the chest weakens. I write down a few cases for tomorrow, remove the notebook and close my eyes …
“Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine; do it all the time ”(1Tim 4:16), – wrote the Apostle Paul to his disciple Timothy. With the latter, the Church is now more or less well: there are catechism courses, universities, seminaries, a bible college, and much more. And what happens to the first direction? How can a believer engage in self-inquiry?
There is a confession, there are patristic books about the “fight against thoughts” (for example, “Philokalia”), which describe in detail the methodology of such a study. However, own this unit method. Yes, and the priests do not have the opportunity to listen to the “revelation of thoughts” in the conditions of “1 minute per confessor,” as is usually the case on Sundays in Orthodox churches.
Psychology can help in self-inquiry, and the demand for it in the Orthodox environment is extremely high today. Almost in every Orthodox university, corresponding departments and faculties are created, the whole Institute of Christian Psychology works, many priests and parish workers receive psychological education.
The technique described above – the “diary of feelings” is one of the simplest methods of introspection. Actually, it cannot even be called specifically psychological: Pushkin lived before the birth of psychology, but the diary kept. And he probably did this precisely because the easiest way to understand and express his experiences is to write them down.
The technique is simple: in a relaxed atmosphere, when no one interferes, to record (preferably not on a computer) those feelings, emotions, and impressions that the past day or last event left for you. I use this technique when my emotional heat (in a positive or negative way) is too high to efficiently go about my business.
Analysis in the "Diary of feelings" is especially useful for me when:
I would like on the way home to leave thoughts about work in order to fully communicate with the family.
I can not sleep at night because of the many impressions of the past day.
I catch myself on procrastination, that is, I constantly postpone unpleasant, but important things.
I understand that in some situation I succumbed to emotions and did not behave as I should.
The secret of the method is that the very driving with a pen on paper launches some analytical processes in a person, helps to “sort out the feelings” and reduce their degrees. And when a person understands what kind of feeling he owns, when a feeling acquires a name – the power of consciousness over this feeling still repeatedly increases. That which is called, that which is understandable, disturbs a person much less than vague, vague experiences.
Of course, the diary is a good, but far from the only way of coping with the senses. We will discuss other ways in the following releases.
We wish God's help in self-inquiry!
PS As you, probably, remember, we love the Bible very much: read it together and one by one, discuss, research, and, of course, apply it in life. In particular, these goals are served by the section of gospel groups.
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