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Way to life

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Today: 301

Way to life

Editor’s Note: Another story is the winner of the competition among our readers. Thanks to everyone involved!

Sunbeams play hide and seek. Summer morning smiles in all eyes. And a little quiet girl cautiously leaves the cool of the house on the hot asphalt. Clutching violet dreams in his fists, he will rush towards a new day. Let's name the girl Nastya.

Silent and timid, it most often causes others to want to endlessly patronize a small heart, blocking its path to independence. Make friends with a girl unit. Friends are not for the sake of interesting communication, they are attracted to her willingness to help in everything. The baby is happy to be helpful, not a chatting girlfriend. Her family will be surrounded by art, which predetermined a strong love of creativity. In the drawings of the girl, one can often see bizarre flowers and the sun – certainly alive, with a human face and pigtails carefully laid out with long eyelashes – such is her ideal of beauty. And in the pictures of Nastya everyone must hold hands to feel the beat of each other's hearts.

Perhaps her only true friend is God. Without knowing almost anything about Him, the girl entrusted the Creator with all her innermost children's desires, repeating “Our Father” in the corner under the ancient icons.

It will not be soon baptized and only for formality, but Nastya will see the path to Life behind this. Sunday school of the temple will open the previously unknown bright and lively world of the theater …

The school years are already behind us, but from the time of plans and hopes a girl was knocked out for a long time by one event.

It happened at a time when the sun enjoyed rare walks along the whisper of autumn leaves, and the frozen sky was fraught with a desperate hope for a miracle … A house ringing with silence. And only moans break through the silence through. Next to Nastya is a woman on the bed. Rather, what is left of it. It is impossible that the reed-arms, eyes exhausted by the disease, are crazy with pain, wandering without meaning. Pain. The pain of death pain. Prayers for death, the desire of languishing flesh rather to escape from the captivity of life to a place where there are no such terrible sensations. Nastya could not adequately perceive what was happening and did not want to believe that this woman was her mother.

For the first time in her life, a girl realized sheer impotence. The dagger cut through the heart a feeling of incompleteness. She did not have time to do and say a lot to the closest person, she did not apologize for every offensive restraint. Late … Nothing can be changed …

Unable to bear this torture, Nastya left the room of the dying for several minutes. When she returned, then … only a silent dove fluttered silently into the sky …

The girl was forced to do something, but her entire inner world rebelled, locking herself in the carapace of unwillingness to live. With her body, she is with people, and her thoughts are on the grave, among the chilled October flowers. Everything for Nastya was enemies, she longed for freedom of action, but she could not free herself from herself, so weak and torn, as if dissolved in an accidentally broken ampoule with poison. It seemed that someone was tormenting her, scratching at the heart with the coals of scorching words their deaf teachings and pity that was nauseating to nausea. In fact, she was strangling herself, trying to close the naughty door in memory.

For six months, it was as if dark in the eyes. But the light dawns, it will spill the streets of vanilla in the spring. And Easter will set foot on the living velvet land.

Easter will not immediately enter the heart of Nastya. She will be indifferent to her participation in the festive performance of Sunday school. Together with the children, he will come to a nursing home – a strange and careless place, devoid of home comfort and a spark of love. Her gaze is drawn to a hunched old woman slowly crossing the room …

After each step, the grandmother trembled slightly, enormous tension was read on her wrinkled face. Next came the grandfather in a wheelchair. Even if you peer into his pitted eyes, it’s hard to imagine that he was a former criminal, who at one time kept many people in fear. Here they are, people living in a strange house, taking someone else's affection, infinitely lonely and lost.

Not everyone came to the performance, someone just could not get to the hall. Nastya saw tears in the eyes of old women, listened to applause, and inside everything turned upside down. Until that moment, she considered herself the most unhappy – lost her parents, among people who do not understand her and constantly demand something. But it turned out that there are people who are a thousand times worse. Sick and abandoned by their own children, they fade away day after day, losing the joy of life. Yes, compared with them, Nastya is a happy person!

It is difficult to describe the whole gamut of feelings, but one thing is obvious – along with Christ that day the girl’s soul also resurrected. No wonder her name in Greek means "resurrected." A wave of previously unnoticed Easter joy surged through the wave!

And Nastya thought that until this spring she had no life, but only existence with a hastily darned heart. Everything was wrong and wrong. The present was replaced with false, errors were not taken into account and corrected, instead of the sun, the moon, instead of white, black. And now, ending recalling, she finally begins to live.

There is nothing more to write: today has already passed, and tomorrow has not yet arrived. Life is ahead, so it’s too early to put an end to it, let it be an ellipsis …

Elena Kartashova

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