Good bad man
The gospel principle of “Love your neighbor as yourself” is very practical. This is not an abstraction, but a working tool of daily life that helps preserve nerves and relationships and earn in the eyes of neighbors the steady reputation of a good person.
The principle that allows, if not to be a good person, then to look like it, is this: in order to be a good person, you sometimes have to agree that you are a bad person.
And just like a real bad person, when you hurt your neighbor, you do it consciously.
Life is arranged in such a way that we sometimes need to hurt someone – to dismiss a poorly working employee, refuse an unlawful or impracticable request, close off moral pressure, say no to others' hopes, prevent someone from doing harm, and so on. This is an inevitable part of life and should be taken as such.
However, it also happens that the pain is caused by chance. Out of ignorance, in a fever, foolishness or something else – completely without the intention of offending or offending anyone. It happens in all people, including good.
So in these cases, the principle requires stopping, thinking and transferring its action from the state of “it happened” to the state of “yes, I did it”. You need to feel like a bad person – after all, it is bad people who crap with full awareness of their shit.
Such a permutation will notice and evaluate some things.
First, the question arises whether my action is worth the pain. After all, the pain inflicted always responds to the violation of peace between people, spoiled relations – not now, so a little later. Am I ready to take responsibility (albeit incomplete, even if I just “did not think”) for what will happen next with our relations? Or should I, if possible, cancel my actions and stop their consequences – just to avoid causing a great evil? Are the goals that I set myself so valuable, including from the point of view of the Lord, so that for them it would be possible to press a random tortoise with a tank like a tank?
Secondly, is it possible to do something so that this pain and its consequences can be somehow compensated, if it has already arisen? How can I adjust my actions to reduce the pain? Maybe it is possible to stop and ask for forgiveness for what has already been done? Stop persisting in a dispute, pull yourself together, erase an unsuccessful blog entry, get out of conflict with apologies, and so on.
Yes, as a result of reflections, it is quite possible to come to the conclusion that yes – Vae victis, the matter is too important and its results are so valuable that I put up with negative consequences. Which, by the way, may not be so scary as well, so that by all means demand to return everything back and urgently. Speech in this case does not mean that you lock yourself in a deaf prison of absolute non-violence and never hurt anyone.
It’s just that every pain infliction should be a responsible conclusion: “I’m doing now these people are hurt and ill.” Not “oh, what are they?”, Not “oh well, nothing terrible,” not “yes, they just did not understand”, and not even “well, I didn’t want”, but the acceptance of what I know about my own actions and their consequences, and the motivation does not overshadow the results. "I hurt." I am a bad man.
After all, pain deliberately – much more difficult than by accident. Everybody knows what pain is. And when they do bad and painful to us, we want to stop it rather, and we tolerate it only for some important, serious purpose, and not “along the way.” And deliberately hurting another person – we cannot help but sympathize with him. Even if we come to the conclusion that the infliction of pain is inevitable – as sometimes I do something that hurts and upsets me, and at the same time I feel sorry for myself.
Such an attitude to people is usually manifested in practice as simply being careful, when a person tries not to hurt anyone again without a very serious reason, and if he hurt someone, he tries to restore the relationship instead of persisting in his right to be an offender. And this is one of the main signs of a good person – a peace-loving and respectful attitude towards others, the search for peace is more than self-righteous.
And the only thing that really hinders becoming such a kind of good person is pride. No wonder they say that it deprives the mind. A proud person is fixated on himself and his experiences, and this causes him not to see their objective content behind their actions. Instead of what happens between me and another person, I see what is happening in my head — my own motives, my own ideas, my own rules and their violation.
The proud man, who has offended someone in a hurry, sees a person who is not affected by his actions, but an obstacle that is out of place caught in the way – and is completely in no mood to seek reconciliation. After all, he is right, and he didn’t want anything bad – he was just in a hurry, in a hurry on a very important matter, and this fool is annoying and in general, don’t go there, then people are in a hurry and so on.
The result is a quarrel, spoiled nerves and mood, and who knows where the parties will go further to throw out their discontent. Who in the evening will bore a child, and who will get drunk out of anger.
That is why the gospel principle is practical. Following it allows you to save the world with others, and therefore saves nerves, time and opportunities. And you will not have to pay much for this – just a sense of your own impeccability.
first publication: mercy.ru
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